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Frequently Asked Questions
What is counseling?
Counseling, as done at the MSUM Counseling Center, is a helping relationship in which one or a group of individuals seek assistance for personal growth concerns from a professionally qualified counselor. All of the counselors at the MSUM Center have extensive training, experience, and professional degrees or, if counselors-in-training, are supervised by staff who do.
Counseling is a method of exploration. It's a process by which you become more aware of your own unique set of interests, abilities, aptitudes, and personality characteristics. The process continues from awareness to decision making to action planning.
The Counseling and Personal Growth Center at MSUM can be a resource for YOU!
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Can anyone use the Counseling Center services?
The MSUM Counseling and Personal Growth Center serves current and prospective MSUM students. Faculty may be seen for limited consultation and referral on a space available basis. The MSUM Employee Assistance Program has a contact with Lakeland Mental Health, (218) 233-7524, to provide mental health services to MSUM faculty and staff.
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How do I make an appointment?
Stop by the Counseling Center desk, Bridges 260, or call 477-2227 to schedule an appointment. The Counseling Center is open from 8 AM to 5 PM, Monday through Thursday and 8 AM to 4:30 PM on Fridays.
NOTE: If you are having a medical emergency, call 911 for help.
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What if I need to see a counselor right now?
The MSUM Counseling and Personal Growth Center has a staff member
designated to handle emergencies and crises at 3:00 PM each afternoon. It is helpful to call before coming to the Counseling Center in order to determine counselor availability.
Realizing that emergencies are not predictable, we will respond to emergencies which cannot fit into our posted emergency hours. When calling, be sure to tell the receptionist that you have an emergency and need to be seen at the earliest possible time.
NOTE: If you are having a medical emergency, call 911 for help.
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For what reasons do students seek counseling?
There's really nothing you cannot come to talk about with one of our counselors! MSUM students often see a counselor for concerning:
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career
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major values
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personal relationships
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families
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emotional and mental health
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self-esteem
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interpersonal communications
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time and stress management
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study skills
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academic issues
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depression
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eating disorders
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other concerns
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How do I know if I should see a counselor?
Here are some common reasons you might see a counselor:
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When you have questions about yourself and your life that loom large and might benefit from supportive, objective input.
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When the pressures and stresses seem too much and you know you're not handling things well. (For example: you're uncertain about a career or life direction)
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When you're down and blue and/or fatigued and these symptoms just don't go away. Insomnia and poor appetite may accompany these symptoms.
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When you can't concentrate or study very well continuously for more than a week.
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If you know you're bingeing, purging, or eating very little.
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When your current study habits and strategies just don't seem to do the job.
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When you and your intimate other, special friend, or roommate are having problems with each other.
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When you know you've had or are having family problems that are affecting you negatively now (For example: emotional, physical or sexual abuse and their effects)
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When you know you don't communicate well in relationships, or, feel you need to be either more assertive or less aggressive than you are.
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If you wonder about or believe you may be abusing alcohol or other drugs.
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If you'd like to develop better relaxation, time management, and stress management skills or more constructive and positive thinking skills, effective study strategies, communication and decision-making skills than you already have.
You can use Counseling Center services without having to have a "problem." Maybe you'd just like to get some friendly guidance in helping yourself grow.
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What About Confidentiality?
Our counselors conform to the highest professional and legal standards regarding confidentiality. Any information you share with your counselor is considered confidential. There are several situations, however, in which we may be professionally and/or legally required to release information you give us. These include the following:
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If there is cause to believe you are in danger to yourself or others or in cases where we learn of suspected child abuse, we are required to notify appropriate agencies.
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If you are involved in certain types of civil or criminal proceedings, we may be required by court subpoena to release records and/or have staff testify.
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If you were referred to the Counseling Center through a disciplinary process and fail to attend the prescribed service, we may be required to notify the referring person or agency.
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In the interest of most effectively serving your needs, we may consult with relevant Student Personnel offices, unless you specifically refuse, in writing, such consultation.
Counselors-in-training will inform you during your first counseling session that they are under supervision of a professional staff person and may be discussing relevant information about your case with their supervisor in order to provide the highest quality services. All information shared between counselors-in-training and their supervisor will be kept confidential.
If you have any questions about our confidentiality policies, please feel free to ask your counselor. We also invite you, if you have any concerns about the services you are provided, to address these with the Director of the Counseling Center or the Vice-President for Student Affairs.
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How can I help a friend in need?
Simply listening to your friend's concerns can be very helpful. However, it is crucial to listen without judging. Telling people they must be stupid or crazy only "helps" them to feel bad about themselves or to choose more ineffective behavior. Instead, you can try asking if your friend's current behavior is helping your friend achieve goals.
You can also help by finding out more about the problem(s) your friend is having. Learning about your friend's problems can help you better support to your friend and yourself. If your friend is already seeking help for a problem, you can talk to your friend about the problem. You can also talk to parents, a counselor, a trusted friend, a physician, a clergy member, or read literature about the type of problems your friend has. Seeking information on your own can be important even if your friend is not seeking help. Again, learning as much as you can about your friend's condition may assist you in getting your friend necessary help.
Encouraging your friend to seek counseling is also very important if your friend is not already getting help. Many people do not seek counseling because they fear being labeled as "crazy", or because they believe they should be able to handle problems on their own. Showing your friend that counseling is a way of helping ourselves can encourage resistant people to seek the help they may need.
If your friend may be thinking about suicide, it is especially critical that they get professional help. This is not something you should try to handle by yourself. You may need to contact a professional counselor, parents, or police if your friend is unwilling or unable to do so.
Also remember to be patient when helping your friend. Even self-damaging behaviors such as abusing alcohol may be "helping" your friend cope with life's problems. Realizing that harmful behaviors really aren't helping takes a lot of courage; your friend may need time to decide to seek help in overcoming life's problems.
How to help your friend to be responsible:
Helping friends to become responsible for their actions can help them make healthy changes in their lives. For example, you may have a friend who gets drunk and breaks some of your personal belongings. Telling your friend it's OK will only enable your friend to continue choosing ineffective behavior. But telling your friend that you expect the broken goods to be replaced will allow your friend to take responsibility for the actions. It is also critical for you to know that you cannot fix someone's problems.
How to confront your friend
(Conflict Resolution):
Confronting a friend who is in need of professional help requires preparation. Here is an easy model to follow:
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Explain the behaviors in question. ("You said you would see a counselor this week and you haven't.")
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Describe your feelings. ("I feel helpless and worried.")
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Communicate what the behaviors mean to you. ("What this means to me is that I have to continue taking time from my schedule to deal with your emergencies.")
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State what you want. ("What I would like is for you to go with me to the counseling center.")
Going through the model without shaming, blaming, criticizing, or name-calling is essential. Doing any of those things would make the person you are confronting angry. Making your friend angry will not help you convince your friend to get help, and it will add stress to your life.
How to help yourself if the situation gets out of control:
One thing you can do to help yourself is to set boundaries (or limits) for interaction with your friend. For example, you may have a friend who calls you late at night on a regular basis. You could set a limit by telling your friend that you will not take calls after a given time (such as midnight); if your friend calls after this given time, you can say it's too late for conversation and suggest a time when you can be available.
If you have a friend that gets verbally abusive, you can help yourself by refusing to argue with your friend and/or by walking away from your friend. When leaving, you can also tell your friend that you will be willing to talk when your friend can do so without yelling, name-calling, shaming, criticizing, etc.
If your friend is physically abusive, it is vital that you create an escape route. For example, arrange to see the person only in public places. However, it is advisable not to come in contact with a person who becomes physically violent with you.
You can also help yourself by creating a support system. Talking to trusted friends, a clergy member, or a counselor can give you much needed moral support.
What to do when the person in need is a family member:
All of the information in the sections listed above can or must be used if you are to help yourself or your family member through trying times. For example, setting up a support network of friends, counselors, and clergy members is important to your mental well-being. Using the conflict resolution model, refusing to argue with an emotionally abusive person, and setting limits are some of the important steps you may have to take. Again, it is vital to create escape routes if you are in a potentially physically threatening setting.
Further questions can be addressed to the Counseling and Personal Growth Center, 260 Bridges Hall, 477-2227.
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Updated 1/22/08
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